Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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