Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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