Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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