Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
