The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
