I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
