It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
