We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize