She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
