it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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