How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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