great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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