I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
