lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize