He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i need some magic done to my vagina
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize