Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
