yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
