did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize