No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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