just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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