I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
They have beer where we have blood.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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