i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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