sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
we're so committed to being not committed
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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