Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
