why didn't you poke me back
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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