I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He had one of those small greek statue penises
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Someone signed my nipple.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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