It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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