I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
