Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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