i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
