Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize