i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I will pee on everything he values.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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