i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
