I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
