I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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