I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
that's an acceptable place to lick
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
