Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm way too hungover for life right now
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize