yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
