question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
