it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
