Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
