hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
