Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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