He asked me if I "almost moaned"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
