I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
