He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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