id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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