I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
