3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
