I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
