Taylor Swift is so right about you.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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