absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Couch. On fire.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
