i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
