i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
