Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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