no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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