this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
